My First and Probably Last Craigslist Date

After five or six funny e-mails back and forth, I decided to meet Craigslist guy (Casey) for a quick drink. I told him I like to keep the first encounter pretty short and sweet and he seemed to agree.

We met on a Wednesday at my neighborhood bar, which was convenient, but kind of stupid seeing how I could run into a gazillion people I know, and did. I got there early to get a drink down before he arrived. I was uncharacteristically nervous. I think it had to do with the Craigslist stigma. Like this just felt a little odd even though it really isn't much different than using match.com.

My date was on time, and the minute I saw him I knew there wouldn't be another date. I know that sounds shallow, but I just wasn't attracted to him. The photos in his ad were on the arty side, so I knew it could go up hill or down hill. It was down. Steep. He was tall like he said he was, but very thin. Too thin. At my first thought was are those track pants? OK, they weren't track pants, but they looked like track pants the way they hung on his slim frame. His features were small and delicate. There's no other way to put it. He reminded me of "creepy thin man" from the Charlie's Angels movie.

He sat down and I asked him if he wanted a drink and he said he doesn't drink! Or "rarely" drinks. Well, I rarely drink but I figured this was an occasion to have a cocktail. He ordered a Coca-Cola. LAME. I mean, why didn't he tell me this over e-mail? I would have met him for coffee or something else. I don't like when men don't drink because it implies that they have a problem with alcohol and I just find that to be a turn off. So he gets his Coke and I order my second Absolut Mandarin and soda. We shoot the breeze for about 45 minutes and he seems nervous. Like really nervous. Shaky nervous. Like tripping out nervous. Another huge turn off. He also told me that he doesn't own a t.v., which I find kind of pretentious and lame. I mean, what does he do when he's bored and wants to just chill and watch something mindless? Eventually I told him that I had to go get an errand done when I saw a girlfriend of mine at the other end of the bar. I asked for the check and he didn't even offer to pay. I paid for my drinks and told him his Coke was on me.

I pretended to walk out with him, saying goodbye as I snuck into the bathroom. When he was good and gone, I went back in and had a drink with my friend!

Of course, Casey thought we had a great time and I had an e-mail from him the next day asking me on a lunch date.

I don't think so buddy.